Like
pizza and Lionel Messi, another universally known entity is the ‘friend
zone’. It’s been there since the beginning of time; well in classic
literature any way. Some have applied it, some have experienced it and
others await that one inevitable experience to come their way. However,
to really put our fingers on it, what really is the friend zone? The
friend zone is where Spongebob put Sandy, where Pattie Boyd put Eric
Clapton and where Rachel put Ross till the very end of season 2, and
that’s a lot of episodes.
To put it in simple words, the friend zone is when romantic feelings in a relationship are one sided, thus the other party involved establishes feelings of just friendship, putting the former into the friend zone, crushing his/her heart and soul like a plastic cup once the tea/coffee/soft drink is gone.
Contrary to popular affiliation of women being the ‘friendzoners’, it is also quite common for a woman to be in the ‘zone’. In addition, a frequent debate exists worldwide, well mostly on the internet, on whether the friend zone really exists or not. Is the friend zone an excuse for people to come to terms with rejection? Perhaps an outlet for some to deal with confrontation, or maybe, as Urban Dictionary defines it, its sole purpose is to continue living as the “seventh circle of hell”.
With time, the ways and techniques of ‘friendzoning’ have evolved. Yes, there are in fact now more ways for one to get rejected. According to Maha Rahman, 19, “Friendzoning is something that everyone has experienced at some point in his/her life, knowingly or unknowingly. It’s a gentle way to utilise one’s freedom to not necessarily reciprocate when presented with the possibility of romance.” Wasif, a 23-year-old says, “I think friendzoning someone is a better alternative to inflicting a blunt rejection. I guess that way you still have some solace; staying in touch and not making things completely uncomfortable.”
When
questioned, in a group of 16-23 year olds, 7 out of 12 people have
admitted to being in some form of friend zone. There are various ways of
friendzoning. Subtle ways are the best, according to Sakib, 23,
“Breaking the whole thing down to the other person is the safest option
in order to not jeopardise the relationship on the whole.” Some people
adopt subtle ways like dropping the casual ‘dude’ or ‘bro’ (have your
pick) in conversations. This way s/he initiates the other person into
the ‘just friends’ circle where you forever remain a pal. And nothing
else. Nothing more.
Friendzoned people can be the best and worst kind at the same time. They are patient and nice and are willing to sit through hours of the other involved individuals’ venting sessions regarding mothers, girl/boyfriends, their hair, and a whole detailed synopsis of “The Vampire Diaries”. These conversations usually end with a “You’re the best, friend!”
Given its universal recognition and practice, another question that arises is, “How does one deal with it?” and “How accustomed are people really to it?” A private university student, Raiyan says, “I’ve been friendzoned so many times, I can now see it coming at me like a monstrous truck on Airport Road post-10pm.” Others, like 17-year-old Tonni says, “I’m way too stubborn to silently accept defeat. I will work my manipulative ways in order to get what I want come hell or high water.” Yours truly in no way condones violence in such matters. As vlogger (video blogger. YouTube? No? Okay) Hank Green best puts it, “It turns out that people who act like actual friends, like, mutual respect sort of friends, they often end up hooking up. But friendzone, zombie lust-mongers don’t get any love ever.”
The simplest way out? Stop obsessing. If one is truly troubled by an existing friendship and wants to take it a step further, why not stop trying so hard? Don’t spend hours listening to them rant and play along. No, really. Be a genuine friend and shut them up when needed. Don’t excessively compliment them in trying to impress them, be honest. Lastly, be yourself. I mean they did like you for who you are as a friend initially, who’s to know things won’t progress? One mustn’t follow someone around like a puppy and alter oneself just to please that person. Take charge. (*Insert something about being Batman to not sound preachy*)
Whether the friendzone really exists, and how significant it is in our lives and culture can be debated. However, when pondered upon, the friendzone has always been and will remain a somewhat omnipresent aspect of our lives, and all coming of age movies in one way or another. Thus, the best option is to sit back and prepare oneself for the foreseeable seventh countenance of hell.
To put it in simple words, the friend zone is when romantic feelings in a relationship are one sided, thus the other party involved establishes feelings of just friendship, putting the former into the friend zone, crushing his/her heart and soul like a plastic cup once the tea/coffee/soft drink is gone.
Contrary to popular affiliation of women being the ‘friendzoners’, it is also quite common for a woman to be in the ‘zone’. In addition, a frequent debate exists worldwide, well mostly on the internet, on whether the friend zone really exists or not. Is the friend zone an excuse for people to come to terms with rejection? Perhaps an outlet for some to deal with confrontation, or maybe, as Urban Dictionary defines it, its sole purpose is to continue living as the “seventh circle of hell”.
With time, the ways and techniques of ‘friendzoning’ have evolved. Yes, there are in fact now more ways for one to get rejected. According to Maha Rahman, 19, “Friendzoning is something that everyone has experienced at some point in his/her life, knowingly or unknowingly. It’s a gentle way to utilise one’s freedom to not necessarily reciprocate when presented with the possibility of romance.” Wasif, a 23-year-old says, “I think friendzoning someone is a better alternative to inflicting a blunt rejection. I guess that way you still have some solace; staying in touch and not making things completely uncomfortable.”
When
questioned, in a group of 16-23 year olds, 7 out of 12 people have
admitted to being in some form of friend zone. There are various ways of
friendzoning. Subtle ways are the best, according to Sakib, 23,
“Breaking the whole thing down to the other person is the safest option
in order to not jeopardise the relationship on the whole.” Some people
adopt subtle ways like dropping the casual ‘dude’ or ‘bro’ (have your
pick) in conversations. This way s/he initiates the other person into
the ‘just friends’ circle where you forever remain a pal. And nothing
else. Nothing more.Friendzoned people can be the best and worst kind at the same time. They are patient and nice and are willing to sit through hours of the other involved individuals’ venting sessions regarding mothers, girl/boyfriends, their hair, and a whole detailed synopsis of “The Vampire Diaries”. These conversations usually end with a “You’re the best, friend!”
Given its universal recognition and practice, another question that arises is, “How does one deal with it?” and “How accustomed are people really to it?” A private university student, Raiyan says, “I’ve been friendzoned so many times, I can now see it coming at me like a monstrous truck on Airport Road post-10pm.” Others, like 17-year-old Tonni says, “I’m way too stubborn to silently accept defeat. I will work my manipulative ways in order to get what I want come hell or high water.” Yours truly in no way condones violence in such matters. As vlogger (video blogger. YouTube? No? Okay) Hank Green best puts it, “It turns out that people who act like actual friends, like, mutual respect sort of friends, they often end up hooking up. But friendzone, zombie lust-mongers don’t get any love ever.”
The simplest way out? Stop obsessing. If one is truly troubled by an existing friendship and wants to take it a step further, why not stop trying so hard? Don’t spend hours listening to them rant and play along. No, really. Be a genuine friend and shut them up when needed. Don’t excessively compliment them in trying to impress them, be honest. Lastly, be yourself. I mean they did like you for who you are as a friend initially, who’s to know things won’t progress? One mustn’t follow someone around like a puppy and alter oneself just to please that person. Take charge. (*Insert something about being Batman to not sound preachy*)
Whether the friendzone really exists, and how significant it is in our lives and culture can be debated. However, when pondered upon, the friendzone has always been and will remain a somewhat omnipresent aspect of our lives, and all coming of age movies in one way or another. Thus, the best option is to sit back and prepare oneself for the foreseeable seventh countenance of hell.
*** All The Best***